Monday, November 06, 2006

People are different

I was thinking about my father's death and the different reactions from people today. His final coma lasted more than a couple of weeks and people reacted differently. We had some people going - why didn't your brother come? he's only been there once - while my twin and I were going - he came once, we got him to the hospital. What the people who thought - I know because some of them said so - that my brother was being disrespectful or had an argument with my dad because he didn't come visit weren't aware of was the number of times my brother had been in the hospital for operations. Just to get him there once was, in my opinion, a minor miracle.

I also talked to a couple of my aunts regularly during dad's final days. One of them was a nurse and kept asking 'Did you ask the doctor this?' or 'Did you tell the doctor that?' The other was the one who passed along the news of who was praying for whom and who else was ill. The one aunt I'd take with me to visit the sick and dying and the other aunt I'd ask to organize a meal service for the sick and dying. Both are wonderful women whose strengths are in different areas.

People are different. When we expect them to all react the same or do each task perfectly well we fool ourselves. Most people can cook, but there are some who can mess up boiling water. That doesn't mean that they are good or evil, worthy or unworthy - it does mean that we should look at their skills, talents and history before we claim that they're unthinking or unfeeling. People are wonderfully made and uniquely different.

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