Psalms

Psalm 142
[1] With my voice I cry to the LORD;
with my voice I make supplication to the LORD.
[2] I pour out my complaint before him;
I tell my trouble before him.
[3] When my spirit is faint,
you know my way.

In the path where I walk
they have hidden a trap for me.
[4] Look on my right hand and see--
there is no one who takes notice of me;
no refuge remains to me;
no one cares for me.

I like the Psalms, but I don't really think they are nice. The psalm I read for evening today talks about traps being laid. Other psalms are more graphic and there is poetry in other places that is not suitable for unprepared ears.

But I'm glad that the Psalms aren't always nice. Because those passages that aren't nice do speak to me when I am in the depths. And life isn't always nice. And that the Psalms aren't always nice means that they do speak to all of life.

While I go by the phrase, 'never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence' in several of its formulations, I don't confuse that with making life nice. And that is even for the best. A nice life may be calm, but we don't really get anywhere unless we're willing to take a chance that we might experience the depths.

Paul talks of us training to run a race. Athletes know that they live with pain as they strive to get ready for the game. And they're not the only ones. Musicians practice until their voices, hands, lips ache. One description of writing is opening up a vein and dipping in the pen.

And then there are the times when we're not training and something just happens that shakes our world. My depression was situational. And it was the sort of thing that if one didn't go into depression they would have had worse problems, IMO.

My mother died.

In a car accident.

I was driving.

We were going to a funeral.

It was for an uncle.

I was named after that uncle.

Depression was a comparatively healthy response to that. (should I mention that one of the insurance companies stopped paying and there were three lawsuits around that accident as the insurance companies fought it out?)

For awhile I felt as if creation itself was against me and all I experienced was hurt and pain. And that is one reason I like psalms that just aren't very nice. Now I did get out of that depression. I recognized it, started therapy, started medication, asked for prayers, worked on getting better and needed all of those together. The psalms give a range of emotions and ways to talk to God. The different psalms complain, praise, whine, rejoice and more. The psalms, indeed all of Scripture, talks of life with all of the warts and joys included. And for that reason I give thanks to God.