Saturday, February 17, 2007

They really do want the best.

Box Turtle Bulletin has a series about a visit to one of the change ministries. It's illuminating and fascinating. And recalls that most of the people working with and in those ministries really do want the best. But the problem is they base their change on what they want to have happen. They base their conclusions on the way they want the world to be. And, in the end, they will have to accept homosexuality as the cross-cultural and cross-species natural phenomenon that it is or they will end up so entranced by their own lie that they will be unable to find the truth anyplace that it is.

When I read the article I went back to the day I found out that my visit to the psychologist hadn't been about testing my intelligence, but because my parents thought I might be gay. I was about five at the time of the visit and found out the real reason about thirty years later. I don't have a problem with the visit nor do I remember my parents lying to me about it. And I do know that they wanted the best. Yet the results of that visit sent me into many years of dating women and looking for the right woman and I wonder, I wonder, if I'd found my sexuality accepted would I be with a partner right now. Would I be with someone to love and cherish and have the laugh my parents had together? I have no regrets about being gay, but I do regret that it took so long for me to recognize it and I regret the missed opportunities.

And I give thanks that our culture is more open today and that gays are growing up in a world where they can see that they're not alone.

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