Words that are no comfort

Some words that will not comfort
but the words that might sustain.
Rachel is weeping for her child
and cannot be comforted.
The loss may be transformed
but the loss will still remain
The slave may be redeemed
but the slavery is not erased
a life, our lives will still go on
but without the presence.
"They" may say you are grieving well
or may think you're doing badly.
But it is o. k. to grieve badly and well in your own way
it is o. k. to make others uncomfortable
You don't have to cry (or not) so that they can say
"How well you are doing."
You must grieve as you grieve
and move through the pain
You must cry - or not - as you will
for there is no comfort.
there is only hope

copyright Roger Victoria, 1998